Note to Hollywood: Stop making crap like Babel

Bloody hell. I just wasted 2 hours 15 minutes watching Babel. No one told me it was going to be just another Crash.

Warning: Culturally self-reflexive bullshit about to screen. This is what happens when white Americans come into contact with brown people.

I didn’t really like Crash, and now I hate it. But I hate Babel even more. It’s the same conceit: racial misunderstanding and prejudices fuel multiple depressing turns of events in highly improbable circumstances commonly linked by a complex network of disparate people.

Okay, you might be able to get away with that once. But, for God’s sake, don’t try it again the year after. That’s just lazy. They even dragged out the same generic Mexican actor (I’m very sorry, Michael Peña, I do realise that’s very insulting — and, to be fair, there are some Mexicans in there I had never seen on film. Some.).

You know, all the cultural guilt Americans have had since suddenly waking up and realising the needless slaughter of innocents in Iraq isn’t actually too hot an idea is really fucking annoying when it manifests itself in this pseudo-introspective national soul-searching tripe.

Forget about worries of civil war — withdraw the troops so Hollywood doesn’t make any more of this crap.

The film’s highest point — figuratively and literally — was the closing shot, in which a naked and deaf Japanese girl hugged her father on the balcony of a top-floor apartment in a very tall building overlooking a spectacular view of Tokyo. But then, you can’t go wrong with naked Japanese girls on balconies, can you?